"When the Student is Ready ...", article by Peter Linnett

In this article Peter Linnett explains how he came to Buddhism, and the profound and transformative effect that it had on his life.

"I was brought up in a Christian family, with parents who dedicated their lives to service within an international Christian organisation, The Salvation Army. But when I was in my early twenties, I began to feel attracted to Buddhism. For many years I merely dabbled, reading books and going to meditation groups run by Buddhist organisations in London.

"A few years ago, during a difficult period in my life, I felt I was searching for something. I came into contact with the Quakers, then the Brahma Kumaris World Spiritual University and its sister organisation the Janki Foundation for Global Healthcare. I met many wonderful and inspiring people, but did not find what I was searching for - partly because I wasn’t sure what that was.

"Then a friend told me about a Buddhist organisation whose centre she was attending in her town. It was called the New Kadampa Tradition, and their website listed a centre near to my area, the Dorjechang Buddhist Centre. I went along to their meditation group, feeling a bit uncertain as I hadn’t meditated or been to a Buddhist centre for years. I need not have worried, as I received a warm welcome and the atmosphere was peaceful and calm. The class included not only meditation, but also a talk on aspects of Buddhist teaching followed by questions and discussion. Richard, the teacher, explained the teachings with clarity. From then on I attended regularly, learning more each week – despite finding meditation hard after not practising it for so long.

"I started to attend longer courses and events, finding some too advanced for me – but I always learned something. After a while I found that Buddhism made sense to me in a way it never had before – not least because the members of the Dorjechang Sangha (Buddhist community) clearly lived what they believed. Later still, I took an opportunity to do voluntary work at the centre, helping to run the office and taking care of the practical tasks Richard’s class involved. After a year’s classes, I felt that the purity and ‘rightness’ of the teachings had started to change me. But change is hard – I went through a crisis when I felt that there were important aspects of Buddhist teaching I could not accept. It took an unexpected turn of events to pull me through this crisis.

"In August 2006, I was admitted to St George’s Hospital, where a scan revealed a brain tumour. I underwent a successful operation, spending two weeks in the hospital - an endurance test for all kinds of reasons, one of which was that in my 52 years I had never spent even one day in hospital. While I was there, something happened that made me feel I could honestly call myself a Buddhist.

"I was having a terrible night, lying awake feeling intensely anxious about how my mother in Australia would take the news of my diagnosis and forthcoming operation. I also thought about the operation, whose possible consequences included death, coma or paralysis. I started to panic, and called a nurse to ask for a sleeping pill. But she felt it was unwise to take a pill in the middle of the night.

"So I started to recite mantras, to think about the teachings I had heard, and to meditate – though that was hard due to the state I was in. After about two hours, I started to feel calmer. That was possibly the worst night of my life, and Buddhist teachings and practices got me through it. Reciting mantras also helped me get through a gruelling one-hour brain scan, during which I started to panic.

"On the morning of the operation I still felt calm, despite the surgeon telling me of the risks. I looked out the window and somehow felt it was just another day, even though I was about to be put on a trolley and taken to the operating theatre.

"Looking back, I think the teachings I heard had been fermenting away in my mind, even during the crisis of doubt I had experienced.

"There is a Buddhist saying: ‘When the student is ready, the right teacher will appear’. I found that to be true, and in addition to Richard I would like to mention Kelsang Dema, then resident teacher at the Dorjechang Centre, whose teaching and example were also inspiring.

"My experience included a number of unexpected or surprising events – coming back to Buddhism; becoming part of a Buddhist community; going through a crisis of doubt; becoming seriously ill and emerging from the crisis as an indirect result. In one of her poems Emily Dickinson writes, ‘because I would not come to death, he kindly came to me’. I suppose I could almost say, ‘because I would not come to Buddhism, it kindly came to me’.

"Another Buddhist saying is: ‘This too shall pass’. It’s almost impossible to believe this while enduring great pain and suffering, but I have found it to be true. If you come to the Dorjechang Centre, I hope your experience will be as profound and transformative as mine was."

Peter Linnett, April 2007

We are very sorry to say that since writing this article earlier this year, Peter Linnett passed away in Melbourne at 8pm local time on Saturday the 1st September. His immediate family, including his 80-year old mother, were present, as well as a chaplain from Kadampa Meditation Centre Australia.

Top of page