Interview with a Buddhist

Mark Pay is one of the weekly mediation class teachers at Dorjechang Buddhist Centre in Wimbledon.

Here he is interviewed here by fellow teacher Robert Talbot.

Robert: I understand that you developed an interest in Buddhism through an interest in psychology. Could you tell me more?

Mark: I started to become interested in psychology in my mid 20's and it really opened my eyes to how our minds, or thought processes, affect the way we experience the world. This led to an interest in how this could be used to improve my experience of every day life and, as I read more in this field, I found increasing references to Buddhism. The first Buddhist books I read really caught my imagination and seemed to provide a much more complete picture than I had been able to find elsewhere.

They also explained how beneficial meditation could be, so I sought out some local classes. Discovering just how wild my mind was, and how much better I could feel by starting to gain some control, and calm it down got me hooked ... and I haven't stopped since.

Robert: As you point out, Buddhism provides a more complete picture than that of western psychology. To what extent did this picture change your view of the world?

Mark: I guess I initially thought that if I could arrange the world in just the right way, have the right relationship, job, house, holidays, etc. then I would be happy. I got interested in psychology because I'd basically achieved all of these things, but was still dissatisfied and kept feeling the need to change just a bit more. Psychology helped explain some aspects of this, but Buddhism showed the basic flaw in expectations.

I learned that whether I was happy or not depended on my mind, not on the external world. For example, I could think my relationship was perfect one day, and want to change it the next. My circumstances hadn't changed, but my mind had. Similarly I could experience the same situation, say an idyllic country walk, as pleasant or unpleasant, depending on whether my mind was calm or agitated.

So the world seems less threatening now, as it has less power to determine whether I'm happy or not than I previously thought. It's also less stressful, as I can put less effort into the impossible task of changing the world to always get what I want, and concentrate on being able to keep a calm happy mind.

Robert: What benefits have you received form meditation?

Mark: To start with it just helped me relax. Then it helped me to internalise the change of perspective I've just described - so that my behavior changed, to become less defensive and calmer, for example. I've also begun to feel much more connected with other people, through meditations on the kindness of others, and the benefits of cherishing others, instead of focusing on myself as the centre of he universe.

In more practical terms, for the first time I've stayed contented in a relationship, ... to the extent that we are now engaged! I also suspect that I'm easier to be around at work than I was a few years ago.

Robert: Just how wild your mind!?

Mark: I think I'll keep that to myself, thanks.

Robert: Fair enough! But on a general point, I think it's true to say that many people have the same experience when they start to meditate. What advice would you give to someone who has just started to meditate?

Mark: First of all, don't be put off of you find that your mind is easily distracted at first. This is a common experience as we notice, perhaps for the first time, just how busy and uncontrolled our mind is.

Secondly, just enjoy it. Don't worry or try too hard, but try to practice for a few minutes each day.

Robert: I understand that you lead some of the meditation classes at the Dorjechang Buddhist Centre. What can people expect who come these classes?

Mark: Each class starts with a guided meditation, where we explain the right posture, breathing, and so forth, and help to create some calm space in our minds. This can be a very pleasant experience, particularly at the end of a busy day. We will then give some explanation of how the mind can be trained, with the emphasis on providing practical methods that can help us to be happier in everyday life. We end with a second guided meditation where we can think about the explanation, and check it against our own personal experience.

Robert: Lets say I turn up to the Dorjechang Centre for the first time, I'm standing on the front step, I've rung the bell - what can I expect?

Mark: You should definitely expect a very friendly welcome. You'll be invited in, and will usually find people standing chatting in the kitchen and meditation room. Tea and biscuits are generally in large supply, both before and after the class. The atmosphere is relaxed and informal, and each class tends to attract a mix of new and regular attendees, with a wide range of ages backgrounds.

Robert: So if I'm a complete beginner, that's OK?

Mark: Complete beginners are very welcome. The main purpose of the classes is to provide practical meditation methods and new perspectives that can be taken away and used to help us be happier.I think this is something that we all aspire to.

Robert: What lies ahead in the future for the Dorjechang Centre?

Mark: Over the past year we've seen the centre flourish with many new faces and new branch classes. I hope it will continue to grow and be a starting point for increased happiness for many more people.

Update: Since this interview, Mark and Ali have married and had a child - Ollie

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